Love is a verb

Love ain’t a drug
Despite what you’ve heard
Yeah love ain’t a thing
Love is a verb
Love ain’t a thing
Love is a verb
(John Mayer)

Today is another anniversary – far more special to me than yesterday’s. It marks the beginning of the 30th year of my marriage with Fiona. I think we should take the whole year off and celebrate! 🙂 Someone said to me once, that birthdays just keep coming round. You don’t have to do anything. But wedding anniversaries take a lot of work and a lot of love. Well, I’m no longer sure of the first statement, but I reckon the second still holds true. Love is a verb – a ‘doing’ word. It’s not simply about falling in love, or feeling love for someone… it’s about LOVING them. The covenant we made with each other on 3 December 1983 was to love each other, whatever came our way. This means whether or not we feel like it, whether or not it comes naturally, whether or not we think they deserve it (I don’t deserve it), whether or not they choose to love me. I can’t remember our promises exactly, but I think they went something like this…

In the name of God,
I, (name), take you, (name),
to be my wife/husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better or worse,
for richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow.

Better, worse, sickness, health! I wonder if we’d known what we’d be in for …! Of course, no one has any idea, really. That’s why they are promises. Unconditional promises. Forever promises. Love is a verb promises. And we need God’s help to keep them.

I’m so grateful to God for giving me my precious partner, Fiona. God calls me to love Fiona with all my being, to encourage and nurture her as my one flesh soul mate. I don’t think I always do a great job at this, but I pray that in God’s strength, I will keep getting better. It’s been a real joy to share these years together, and I pray God will give us many more.

It hasn’t always been easy, and I’ve spoken before about how some of the hardest times have enriched our relationship the most. We’re thankful that so often God has drawn us together in adversity. We’ve had our own conflicts… yes! But God, in his mercy has enabled one or both of us each time, eventually, to extend an olive branch. We’ve sought to be forgiving and peacemaking and to learn from our mistakes. If we learn from our mistakes, then we’ve done a lot of learning together!

I thank God for these 29 years together. I thank him for the beautiful wife he’s entrusted to me. Please God, help me to be like Jesus to my bride.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives.  (Ephesians 5:25-28, The Message)