Yesterday I had a routine CT scan to check on any progression of my cancer. Thank God, there was no change. I remain NED! While this has been the pattern for some time, these results were especially encouraging because I haven’t had chemo since last November. I am taking a longer break from chemo to give my body and mind some reprieve. The constant barrage of toxins over the past 4 years has taken its toll.
Today I revisited my treatment strategy with my oncologist. Once again I was encouraged to not assume that I am healed and to return to the IV chemicals every three weeks. The advice was expected, and I can understand it from the doctor’s viewpoint. Why mess with success? The question is at what cost? Mind you, the alternative approach is also at what cost? If I give up on the chemo, and the cancer remains in my body, am I surrendering the advantage to the enemy.
And where does trust in God come in? I believe that God is powerful and loving. I trust that he can and does heal people. But has he removed my cancer completely? Does it display greater faith to go off treatment or to go back on treatment? Some people assume that God is the explanation for what cannot be explained. If we can explain it, then that can’t be God. But I don’t think this way. I believe that God has ordered this world in such a way that we can use our minds, talents, training, research, and skill to accomplish God’s good purposes. I will thank God for miracles and I will thank God for medicine.
I believe that I can and should trust God—whatever happens to me. God has demonstrated that he can be trusted in Jesus Christ. Jesus died and rose to bring me forgiveness and life, hope and eternity. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know God, and I know that he knows.
For now, I plan to remember that life is short, so I’d better not waste it. I’m NED (no evidence of disease) but I’m still terminal—we all are—so God help me to make the most of this life that you’ve given me.