Category: Christian living

Growing in godwardness

I’ve seen something disturbing in recent years. Couples, out together, but not communicating with each other. They’re both communicating, but with someone other than the one they’re with. Walking along, holding hands, each one talking on their mobile phones. Sitting in a cafe, sharing a coffee, but each one busy checking their facebook or sending texts to other people. It’s bizarre. It’s just plain rude! And I feel sheepishly guilty as I say this, because I know I’ve done it too.

It got me thinking that sometimes we treat God the same way. How many times have I sat down to read God’s word only to be distracted by a pressing email, a job that has to be done, a request from the kids, or a random thought that takes me elsewhere? How many times have I begun to pray when I remember something that needs doing, my mind drifts, or I fall asleep? In fact, only today I was praying with friends, when my phone alerted me to some messages… I checked the messages and I quickly forgot we were talking to God.

I suspect it’s also a symptom of God seeming such a long way away. We can’t see him or touch him, and we’re probably not hearing his audible voice. It’s easy to get distracted by the things that invade our senses. We experience the presence of those around us, but we forget about God. God has promised that he is near to all who put their trust in him. We need reminding of his presence and his commitment to us. He desires to speak to us through his Scriptures and to have us listen to him. He wants us to speak to him in prayer and he promises to listen to us. Relationships are about communication, and God wants to communicate with us.

The words of Psalm 145 give us great cause to spend time communicating with God. He’s trustworthy and faithful. He powerful and generous. He provides for our needs. He lifts us up when we’re down. He’s able and willing to satisfy the desires of our hearts. He promises to save all who call on him in honesty and humility, recognising that he alone is God.

 The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises
and faithful in all he does.
14 The Lord upholds all who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
16 You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

17 The Lord is righteous in all his ways
and faithful in all he does.
18 The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.
20 The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.

21 My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord.
Let every creature praise his holy name
for ever and ever.  (Psalm 145:13-21)

The godward person recognises their dependence upon God. We all need God. We need his help. We’ve been created for a relationship with God, not to go it alone. It makes sense that he should be the first one we speak to when we’re in need and the first one we praise when we’re happy.

Is anyone among you in trouble?
Let them pray.
Is anyone happy?
Let them sing songs of praise.  (James 5:13)

When trouble and suffering comes our way, let’s remember our loving and powerful God. Let’s pray. We might ask him to remove our suffering. We might ask him to help us persevere through it. We mightn’t know exactly what or how to pray. But let’s turn our hearts and minds godward.

And when things are a delight, when all is happy, when there’s cause to celebrate, let’s not forget our generous Father in heaven who gives all good gifts. Let’s not become proud or conceited, drawing praise to ourselves. Instead, let’s offer praise to God. Let’s rejoice in his mercies. Let’s sing together of the wonders of his love. Let’s grow in godwardness.

Making the most of the Bible

My youngest son received a wonderful parcel in the mail this morning – four copies of Making the most of the Bible sent by its author, John Chapman. One for him, another for his sister, one for Fiona and I, and another to give away. Thanks so much Chappo!

This is a great little primer for getting the most out of reading the Scriptures. It’s warm and engaging without wasting words. It’s more about attitude to the Bible than any special approach to reading. It’s only 66 pages short, I read it between breakfast and morning tea, and it’s the first book I’ve been able to read all year without glasses (nice large print)!

Chappo begins with the importance of faith. Reading the Bible should be more than an academic pursuit. We read it to discover the joy of trusting God with our lives. The Gospels reveal Jesus to be someone who can be completely trusted. He is reliable and always keeps his promises. As we read the Bible we have two choices: (1) either we approach it with hard hearts, only accepting what fits with our own desires and dismissing what doesn’t, or (2) we open our minds to discovering who God is, what he’s like, with a willingness grow in trusting him. Our attitude will make all the difference.

Making the most of the Bible focuses upon Jesus understanding and use of the Scriptures. This is an excellent approach, because anyone claiming to follow Jesus will surely want to see how Jesus treated the Bible. If we’re going to follow him with our lives, then we’ll also want to follow his lead with the Bible.

What was Jesus’ attitude to the Old Testament, what do we make of Jesus’ own words, and what was Jesus’ view of the New Testament?

The first thing we discover is that Jesus treated the Old Testament as having authority because he believed it to be God’s own words. He submitted to these words and called others to do the same. Jesus resisted the ancient temptation to doubt God’s truth and goodness, instead placing his full confidence in God’s promises. Jesus also claimed a special relationship to these words. He declared that the whole Old Testament points to him, and finds its fulfilment in him. These are bold claims, and they offer us the key to understanding the whole message of the Bible. After his resurrection, Jesus explained his life and ministry to his followers in these words:

44 He said to them, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms.” 45 Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.  (Luke 24:44-45)

It’s common for people to grab hold of some of Jesus’ teaching, without any intention of following him personally. Chappo reminds us that Jesus’ person, works and words are all tied together. Jesus’ life and teaching reveal who he is and his words calls us to follow him. Jesus claims to reveal God to us and backs this up with all he says and does. We might not appreciate this today, but at the time the religious authorities recognised the magnitude of his claim and they killed him for it. As Jesus reminded one of his followers at the last supper:

9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.  (John 14:9-10)

Jesus also explained why the New Testament should be accepted as God’s word. The apostles are the key. Jesus had spent time teaching them before and after his resurrection. It was his plan that they would pass on his message, and do it with an inspired accuracy. He promised the apostles that God’s Spirit would oversee this happening:

12 “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. 13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. 14 He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. 15 All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.”  (John 16:12-15)

Chappo takes us to the heart of the Bible’s message, drawing us to God’s awesome offer of forgiveness and life with him for eternity. These promises are rooted in the Old Testament and find their full expression in Jesus. My heart was warmed as I was reminded of some of the wonderful promises contained in the Bible:

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;  (Psalm 103:11-13)

34 No longer will they teach their neighbor,
or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest,”
declares the Lord.
“For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more.”  (Jeremiah 31:34)

3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
(Revelation 21:3-4)

What an awesome God! What wonderful promises he makes! What a beautiful hope he offers all who will take him at his word and put their trust in the Lord Jesus.

The final sections of this little book, highlight how to respect the Bible as literature and read it with understanding. They address commonly held concerns over the reliability of the Bible, confidence in the transmission of the manuscripts, and evidence for Jesus’ divinity.

Making the most of the Bible is an excellent introduction for people who want to understand what the Bible is about, why it matters and how we should approach it. I recommend it. Read it and think about who you can pass a copy to. Christmas is coming! I’d give this book to my two teenagers… but Chappo has beaten me to it!

The garden in the window

  photo[1]  photo

As I lie in bed
I see through my window
our garden of delight
greens and pinks
reds and purples.

Today
drops of water
beading on branches
the sound of rain
trickling through leaves.

Tomorrow
blossom will fall
leaves will wither
beauty will fade.
and death will come.

Long ago
another garden
unlike any other
harmony and perfection
the gift of God.

Generously given
so quickly lost
we knew better
than to listen to God
and now it’s gone.

Through another window
the promise of God
a garden to come
a city of joy
a reason for hope.

The Son will return
coming through clouds
restoring the earth
healing the broken
fulfilling our hope.

Turn to the Son
he gave his life
in exchange for yours
hope for the contrite
of a future redeemed.

Why churches should stop small groups

Hear me on this one. I believe that home groups, growth groups, prayer and Bible groups, gospel groups, connect groups, cell groups, small groups – or whatever else we may call them – are a vital part of church life. They enable people to develop relationships with others in ways that are otherwise difficult in a larger church. They provide an excellent opportunity to read, learn, discuss and apply the Bible in fellowship with others. They enable personal prayers to be shared with one another. People can be encouraged, supported, and cared for, without always relying on the professional pastor to do all the work.

Stop_SignBut we need to stop them! Some groups just seem to go on and on, without clear expectations or direction. Some groups become so cliquey that nobody can ever break into them. Others get so toxic with gossip, divisions, or grumbling, that they need to be shut down for the sake of everyone involved, and often the church as a whole. Some groups develop there own agenda which clearly competes with that of the church as a whole. Sometimes groups are simply unhealthy and need to be stopped.

However, it’s not the euthanasia of groups that I’m primarily concerned with here, but the need to build helpful rhythms into our groups. I want to apply some of the insights from Bruce Miller’s helpful book, Your Church in Rhythm and Larry Osborne’s book on small groups, Sticky Church. We need to communicate about when and how our small groups will begin and end. We should also consider the value of various starts and finishes within the life span of the groups. Let’s consider Miller’s chronos cycles and examine the benefits to be gained by pacing our groups wisely and oscillating them between intensity and renewal. Let’s work out when and how to stop them!

Yearly cycles

Starting and stopping our groups each year, helps people to pace themselves. It allows time to build relationships and it also offers an opt-out when the relationships aren’t really working, or we simply want to get to know others. Life changes each year. We move, we get new jobs, our kids get older, we enter into new relationships. These changes often mean people should move to a different group.

Consider carefully when groups begin. Our church often waited until March, when uni students got back into town, but this frustrated others who were looking for a group in January or when school started. It might be wise to advertise a number starting times. But equally, set a stop time, so that the group can finish on a strong note, people can be thanked and farewelled, celebrations can be shared. It’s not good when groups simply taper out and dissolve. This can be a recipe for hurt and disappointments. We need to stop our small groups well!

[This is not to say that we should dissolve our groups every year. Some groups will continue for years and continue to be healthy. But giving people some time out at the close of the year can be very healthy. Taking a break from the small group can function like an annual sabbath to enable everyone to have a rest – pastors, leaders, participants and their families. Sometimes, short term summer holiday groups can fill the gap for those who need a group during this period.]

Term-based cycles

There is much to be gained by arranging our groups according to seasons, and often the most obvious is school terms. While not everyone’s life is shaped by terms, it does have the benefit of pacing the life of the group. We can oscillate between 9-10 weeks on and 2-3 weeks off. It gives the leaders and the group a break. People get time off for other things and don’t resent their group for always demanding their time.

It can also be helpful to match these groups with program of the church. If the teaching is term-based this allows integration across the church. A short teaching series is offered in the school holidays and the groups get some time off. Osborne also suggests that breaking between terms gives the groups an opportunity to take stock, reevaluate how the group is going, and sometimes to help people transition into another group if things aren’t working out. Stopping our groups in the holidays can also give space for doing other things with the group, perhaps a social outing, a special dinner, or a weekend away. If we want people to stay excited about the groups, I think there is great value in stopping our groups at the end of each term.

Weekly cycles

If our groups go for 9 or 10 weeks followed by a break, then we should plan how to use these weeks. Are we following the sermon series? Will the group need some variety over this time? Perhaps, a 4-1-4 plan to do studies, with a night of prayer in the centre, or a dinner together, or combine with another group in the church for a night. The church might encourage groups to do something different in one of the terms, perhaps encouraging the groups to do a training course, or to choose their own studies. If so, then we need to communicate well ahead and prepare people for the changes.

Sometimes the group will face a particular crisis and we need to break with the timetable or plan. Maybe a member is in hospital and the group will choose to stop a week so everyone gets a chance to visit. It could be a big issue that is facing the group that needs addressing, so we might stop the program and give this issue the attention it needs.

Daily cycles

It’s also worth considering the basic shape of each group meeting. How much time is given to catching up with each other, sharing needs or joys, learning and discussing God’s word, praying for one another and other things? Does the group share food together – a meal or simply refreshments? Is the group excited about how it uses it’s time?

People are creatures of habit and they build their expectations on their experiences. If a group always starts late and finishes after the agreed time, people will start coming late and often still get irritated when the group goes overtime. If we stick to the group’s agreed timetable, this will build confidence in the group and create a less stressful environment. If you need to, then agree together on extending the time we meet, otherwise we should stop our groups on time!

I hope these reflections help increase the joy and decrease the stress in our small groups!

Please God

Please God
I just want to be well
Is that too much to ask
The pain in my chest and side and back
It worries me
I long for health
I hope for the future
I mourn too soon
Scans today
A look inside
Frightening and illuminating
There’s a fight going on
Chemo versus cancer
Short odds on the cancer
But I’m not a betting man
Please God
Draw me close
Lift my heart to you
Deepen my trust
Strengthen my spirit
Guide me in wisdom
Show me again the riches of your love
May your love change me
And those around me
Please God

Looking ahead… without fear

I’m starting to look ahead. What does 2013 hold? What work can I do? What ministries can I be involved in? I’m keen to be serving God, but I’m not keen to repeat much of the hyper-busyness of the past. The past couple of weeks I’ve enjoyed quite a bit of activity. I’ve been up and about, connected with a few friends, and taken on various tasks. I’ve caught up with a number of people for some serious discussions about personal and pastoral matters. I’ve enjoyed a Bible study with some blokes at the local pub and a time of honest discussion and prayer around a fire in our backyard.

Last weekend I spent a few hours teaching at a local theological college on the topics of church planting, preaching and sharing what we believe. It was so encouraging to be able to talk about these important things with a group of ministers and students in training. I followed this with an abbreviated program for our ministry trainees at church. On Friday I joined in a training workshop on strategic planning and team leadership and I attended a prayer meeting for teenagers with some other parents. Today I’ve been at a men’s convention looking at the nature of our identity as Christian men. During the week I attended our church staff meeting and began to discuss potential plans for getting more involved again with the team. I followed this by talking through possibilities with our lead pastor. We worked on some strategies for ministry, pastoral care, and future planning. It’s been invigorating! The cancer’s taken a back seat and it’s felt like I’ve been getting on with life again!

But… the past few days I’ve had increased pain in my chest. I find the pain difficult to interpret. Is it evidence of the chemo doing it’s job? Is it the cancer becoming more active? Or is it something else, such as bruising around the surgery sites, or an infection in the lungs, or something entirely in my head and I don’t need to worry about it? The one thing I do know is that it’s a timely reminder that all is not well. As I’ve begun thinking and planning for the future, I need to remember that important little phrase… deo volente or God willing.

In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.  (Proverbs 16:9)

Experiencing the symptoms of the cancer raises my levels of anxiety. I know that this won’t help and it could make things worse and it’s something I need to deal with. But I don’t deal with it alone. My loving and competent wife helps me to stay grounded and focused with her wise words and practical help…

“Let’s take your temperature. I’ll check your blood pressure. How about you let me listen to your chest. I suggest you relax a while and take a couple of panadols. You’ve got a scan next week and then we’ll have a better idea of what’s going on.”

Even more importantly God helps me in my weakness. As I walked home from the conference today, holding my chest, concerned about the pain, God spoke to me. Words from the Bible. Words that I’ve previously sung many times. Words that seemed apt for me this day. They were first spoken through the prophet Isaiah to the people of Israel, reminding them that God had acted to rescue them. How much more true are they for those who’ve been saved by Jesus Christ. I need not fear, for whatever happens to me, God has already redeemed me, and I’m secure in his protective custody.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
IMG_2782I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour  (Isaiah 43:1-3)

The Jesus Storybook Bible

jesus-story-book-bibleThis afternoon I sat down and read the Bible from cover to cover. Well, not the whole Bible precisely. It wasn’t the King James or the New International Version. It wasn’t exactly the full text or even the actual text of the Bible. What I read was The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones. It’s a paraphrase of the main message of the Bible. It’s a birds-eye view of the whole landscape with stopovers to take in the major landmarks along the way. It’s written with younger children in mind and offers a wonderful summary of the Bible’s big idea. The words are excellent, the pictures are delightful, and it was cool to be able to read 350 pages from beginning to end in one sitting! I loved it!

What makes this so awesome is that the author understands that the Bible is ultimately a book about Jesus. The Old Testament points to Jesus and finds it’s fulfilment in him. The New Testament showcases Jesus and the impact he makes on others. It’s one coherent story about God’s big rescue plan, where Jesus ultimately comes into the world to bring people home to God.

Obviously the complete message of the Bible has been dramatically condensed to create this storybook Bible. What I appreciate are the wise selections of what’s been put in and what’s been left out. You come away from reading this with a good handle on the overall message of the Scriptures. It hangs together, it builds momentum, and it reaches an important climax. In reading the full version of the Bible we’re not dealing with a book of independent short stories, but an historical narrative with a coherent message. It’s one story. It’s God’s story. It’s his-story.

Let me try to summarise the summary! We start with God, who creates an awesome world, makes people who relate to him and all is perfect. The people are quickly deceived into not trusting God, things fall apart, and life seems hopeless. God promises to put things right, he works through a family line, he overcomes every setback, and we keep looking forward in anticipation to his coming into our world to rescue us. This is half the story, what gets described as the Old Testament, and it’s desperately waiting for its conclusion.

The second half, or the New Testament, announces the arrival of God in the person of Jesus. We learn the significance of the Christmas story, see the extraordinary things he does, hear his amazing words, and marvel at the way he treats people. We discover that the cruel execution of Jesus is actually essential to the plan. Easter is the climax. Jesus will rescue people by dying in their place and God will raise him to life, opening the way for us to return to God. God gives his Spirit to Jesus’ followers, they’re transformed by the message of Jesus, and the news of what God has done begins to spread throughout the world. An awesome story and it’s true!

I love lots of things about The Jesus Storybook Bible. You truly get the sense of promise and fulfilment. The heart of God to rescue, rather than destroy, his people comes through at every point. The pictures are wonderful, but it’s the love and generosity of God that really colours this book. The best thing is that this storybook accurately communicates that the Bible is a book about Jesus. He is the focal point of all God’s purposes. He’s the key to understanding ourselves and God and the purpose of life.

One of the great dangers of many kids Bible books is that they can reinforce the misunderstanding that the Bible is a book of cute and not-so-cute stories and that Christianity is a message of ‘doing the right thing so God will like you’. These ideas are false and dangerously misleading. The The Jesus Storybook Bible steers us away from such errors. It stays on message, that the Bible is a book about God’s amazing grace revealed in Jesus. Consider these words…

“It’s not about keeping rules!” Paul told the people. “You don’t have to be good at being good for God to love you. You just have to believe what Jesus has done and follow him. Because it’s not about trying, it’s about trusting. It’s not about rules, it’s about Grace: God’s free gift – that cost him everything.”
What had happened to Paul? He met Jesus.  (p340)

Lloyd-Jones uses a wonderful refrain throughout the book speaking of…

God’s Never Stopping
Never Giving Up
Unbreaking
Always and
Forever
Love

I highly recommend this storybook Bible. Adults will benefit from reading it through in one sitting. So will teenagers. But its intended audience is young children from 3 or 4 up to the end of primary school. I’d encourage parents and children’s ministry leaders to get a copy. Read it through first and then take it a chapter at a time. It’d be worth reading through with your children at least once every year. Each chapter also has a reference to the passages of the Bible that are being described. It’d be worth the adults reading over these texts before they read the storybook version to the children. Maybe read the full version in the mornings and then read to the kids before bed.

For adults who want to explore the overall message of the Bible for themselves, I’d recommend following a guided Bible reading plan. It’s also helpful to read According to Plan by Graeme Goldsworthy or God’s Big Picture by Vaughan Roberts. These books give excellent Bible overviews. You might also like to download a series of talks that offer a 10 week overview of the Bible’s message or work through the 8 studies in Full of Promise by Phil Campbell and Bryson Smith.

Come to think of it, there are many contexts where this book would be an excellent gift. If you’re invited to become a god-parent, then why not buy a copy for your god-child? Grandparents, add it to your Christmas list. Pastors, grab copies to offer parents at kid’s clubs or when they enquire about getting children baptised. Maybe, you could buy a copy for your kindergarten or primary school library. Get your children’s ministry leaders to read over it and use it for a training weekend. Use your imagination!

Alive and active


No, I’m not talking about myself. I’m not that active, but it’s sure good to be alive! This is how the Bible gets described in Hebrews 4:12…

bible_picFor the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

It’s not how many people would describe the Bible. Maybe, ‘dead and dull’ or ‘outdated and boring’, but certainly not alive and active. I’ve got a few books at home written in the 1800s, even some written in the 1500s and 1600s. I even have a few editions published two centuries ago. They are truly old! But the Bible was written two to three millennia ago! That makes it truly ancient!

And yet, I agree with these words. It is alive and active. It’s every bit as relevant today as when the quill first hit the papyrus. It’s no accident that it continues to outsell every other book. There’s good reasons why people read it and study it, discuss it and teach it.

I’m persuaded that the Bible is more than a human manuscript. I believe it is God’s word and that he continues to speak through it today. So it obviously makes sense for me to pay it a lot of attention. I enjoy getting to know God as I read his words. I’ve spent many years seriously studying the Bible, and I haven’t begun to exhaust it’s wisdom. I keep working to understand and apply it to my life, and to explain and teach it’s relevance to others.

But I don’t think you necessarily need to believe that the Bible is God’s word for it to be worth your while reading it. You can gain massive insight into the human experience through this book. It’ll help you understand our culture and many others. It may even help you understand yourself. But most importantly, it’ll introduce you to arguably the most influential person who ever lived, Jesus. There is so much value in patiently discovering all you can about Jesus, and asking questions about who he was, what he taught, and whether he’s relevant to you, today.

I’d urge you to add Bible reading to your to do list for a while. You could put it on your bucket list, but then you might never get to it! Perhaps, begin with the New Testament and, if you need help focusing, try asking three questions:

(1) what does it say about who Jesus is?
(2) what does it say about what he said and did?
(3) what does it say about how I should respond to him?

 

A legacy of words

Words can be very powerful. They’re how we connect. They’re the way we get to know one another. The absence of words makes relationships very difficult. They reveal what’s on our minds, what’s on our hearts, what we’re thinking. Sometimes they express our feelings and emotions. They’re a vehicle for revealing our values, our beliefs, our convictions. Care must be taken with words because once offered they’re hard to take back. Words can be weapons that wound or even kill. Words can offer healing and forgiveness and kindness and love. Words, whether written or spoken, can leave an important legacy long after their author has gone.

Over the past month I’ve read a number of deeply helpful books written by people dealing with serious illnesses. Each of these books have been inspiring and I’ve wanted to review and promote them so that others can be blessed by them also. With three of these books, I described the authors, their experiences, their attitudes and their words in the present tense. I just assumed each one was still living and continuing with the challenges and struggles they described in their books. I was wrong.

Lori Hope, the author of Help Me Live, who had lung cancer, and who had written to me only weeks before, had died the day before I read her book. Rhonda Watson, the author of Remember, who lived with Motor Neurone Disease, had died only weeks before. And I discovered yesterday that Jim Stallard, the author of You owe me dinner, a quadriplegic who battled with diabetes and other disabilities, had died only last year.

The news of each of their deaths was very sobering for me. Once again it reminded me of the future. One day every one of us will take our last breath. We can’t escape this fact. And for those of us with serious illnesses that day may well be sooner than we’d like.

Each of these people have no doubt left many important legacies. I haven’t met any of them personally (other than an email from Lori) but I feel that I know each one, at least in part. I’ve got to know them through their books, through their words. I feel I’ve had a glimpse of each person, something of what they’ve been through, what they believed and hoped for. They continue to speak to me, even in their absence. And, in my heart, I thank them for their words.

I added it up the other day. Just under 80,000 words on this blog since March. Ouch, that’s a lot of words! I’ve sought to give a window into my experience, what’s been on my mind and heart, what I care about and appreciate. I’ve attempted to highlight the valuable words of others as I’ve reviewed books on a range of topics. And I’ve often quoted the words that matter to me more than any others – the words of the Bible. I’ve been amazed at the reach and impact of some of these words, and have been blessed by many wise words in response. My prayer is that I will leave a legacy with these written words.

In my case, I can do more than leave a legacy of words on the page or screen. I’ve been a preacher and Bible teacher my entire working life. This means that there are cassettes, CDs, and mp3 recordings of my talks. No vinyls or reel-to-reels! Without exaggeration, that adds up to hundreds, if not thousands, of hours of talks. Some might say, if I’d kept them shorter there’d be a lot less! People can go to our church website and continue to listen to my words. The digital footprint I leave will mean that I will be able to continue speaking for years and years to come.

Big deal, you might well say! Words, words, words! Lot’s of people have written books. Lots of people have left recordings. Lots of people get quoted, but far more are simply forgotten. And I agree with you! It’s not the volume of words or the fact that they’re recorded that matters. It’s the message they contain.

I’m keen to leave my children, and my children’s children, a legacy with my words. It’s kind of nice that each of them currently follow the blog and they’ll be able to read back over things once I’m gone. It’s pretty special that they’ll even be able to listen to my voice if they download talks. But it’s the content of what I say that’s important. My prayer is that I’ll leave a legacy that flows from my words and is supported by my life. I desire to point beyond myself to the one and only God who loves each one of them. I want to share the good news of Jesus, his life, his words, his death, and his resurrection, and show them why I believe it. I want to speak about the goodness of God in the face of suffering and evil, and show the true joy that comes from confidence and contentment in God.

I know that even if I were to write books and archive my talks in the safest of places, there will come a time when my words are no longer remembered. That’s just the way things go. But there are also some words that will never be wasted, words that will always achieve their purpose, words that will endure and live forever. The Apostle Peter wrote to Christians in the first century…

23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24 For,

“All people are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
25     but the word of the Lord endures forever.”

And this is the word that was preached to you.
(1Peter 1:23-25, my emphasis)

He quotes words that were spoken by God through the prophet Isaiah 800 years before. He speaks about the message of Jesus. He describes the impact of the message of Jesus on other people years afterwards. This is the same Peter who was a close personal friend, an eye and ear witness witness to Jesus, who had one time spoken to Jesus saying…

68 “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69 We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.”  (John 6:68-69, my emphasis)

This very same message continues to change lives today and it will tomorrow. I’m persuaded that God’s words are life-giving and life-transforming. I can testify to it personally, and I’ve seen it it countless others. The legacy I want to leave my children and my children’s children, is not ultimately my words, but the true words of God himself.

An alternative to reading the Bible

bible_picAs someone who has read the Bible most days of his life, studied the Bible at undergraduate and postgraduate level, taught the Bible to anyone who would listen, and encouraged others to read the Bible for themselves… you might be wondering what has changed so that I am now suggesting an alternative?!

The answer is nothing has changed. I still believe that the Bible is God’s word. I’m persuaded that by reading it we can discover the meaning and purpose of our lives. The Bible shines a light into our being. It reveals the matters that matter most. It’s not a book of rules. It’s not a religious artefact. It’s a life-giving word because it makes us wise for salvation through trusting in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:15) I can’t think of too many things more worthwhile than sitting down and reading through the New Testament Gospels, with an open mind to discovering all you can about Jesus.

But, for today, I want to commend an alternative to reading the Bible… listen to it. Have someone else read it to you. You don’t have to open your Bible. You can shut your eyes if you want. Just listen to what it says. If you do that, then you’ll find yourself in good company. Before the printing press was invented, very few people had access to reading the manuscripts of the Bible. They depended on it being read out loud by those who did have access. In more recent times, I met some people who lived in Ethiopia for years when it was illegal to have Bibles. They couldn’t be seen in public with Christian Scriptures. From time to time churches and Christian groups were discovered with Bibles and they were punished severely. So what did they do? They privately memorised huge sections of the Bible, so they could share it with one another when they got together.

Now you might be able to find someone who’s willing to read it out loud while you listen, but they’ll probably give up fairly quickly and there is an easier way. Get yourself a copy of the Bible on CD or mp3, put it on your iPod or phone and you can listen to it anywhere. If you’re connected to the internet then you can find audio versions of the Bible to listen to. Bible Apps such as You Version and sites such as Bible Gateway are a good place to look.

I’m not suggesting you stop reading the Bible, but I think there can be advantages to simply listening. It’s a great use of time when you’re out and about. Plug in your earphones and listen to the Bible while you commute to work or drive down the coast. If you’re walking the dog or riding your exercise bike you might be able to listen to a book of the Bible each time. Perhaps you could make up a play list of Bible passages, instead of music, to listen to now and again.

Our church is about to start a teaching series on the book of Jeremiah. We’re covering the whole book over the next 9 weeks. It’s a long book with 52 chapters and the danger is that we’ll get lazy and not bother reading it at all. We’ll get bits and pieces in the talk on Sunday, but not really get the full picture. Listening to the Bible read out loud will get it into our heads.

I’ve taught through the 66 chapters of Isaiah in 16 weeks and the 48 chapters of Ezekiel in 8 weeks. And I found it so useful to listen to the words. I remember one day walking up and down Black Mountain, Mt Ainslie, Mt Majura, past the airport, and around North Canberra as I listened to the whole of Ezekiel. Another occasion I listened to 29 consecutive chapters as I drove to Bateman’s Bay. I did this over and over and I came to know and understand these books better and better.

In fact, some things became so much clearer as I listened. You try listening to Ezekiel 40-48 with chapter after chapter describing measurements and details of the new temple. It’s almost deadening in the detail! But then, after all the names and places and numbers are given, you hear these words… And the name of the city from that time on will be: THE LORD IS THERE.  (Ezekiel 48:35) It doesn’t seem like much as you read it off the pages but, having heard the entire book read, and knowing the story that has gone before it, I can tell you it was WOW!

So if you’re about to embark on studying the book of Jeremiah, let me seriously suggest listening to it as well. If you’re not much of a reader but you’re interested in finding out what the Bible has to say, let me recommend getting an audio version. If you want to fill up some otherwise dead time, then why not stick the Bible on your phone or computer or put a CD in the car and listen to the Word of God. Who knows, it might even help you to read it more as well!

When crisis changes to chronic

It began with a crisis. Taken to hospital, rushed through Emergency, hooked up to an ECG machine, off for x-rays, back for a CT scan, a massive fluid build up around the lung… looked like there could be a tumour. A whirlwind of people, activity and emotion. Within hours people were visiting, offering help, gathering to pray, preparing meals, picking up cars, contacting children. Within days I’d become the centre of attention, everywhere, it seemed! It was confirmed that I had cancer and the prospects didn’t look good. So many people from so many places turned up to see me. The nurses complained that there were too many people. Letters, cards, Facebook greetings, emails, came in from all over. Meals kept turning up at the right times. A small army of people unpacked our belongings and refurnished our house. Fifteen hundred students gathered in small groups at a conference to pray for me! It was intense! It was life and death in our faces every day.

I’ve seen our family cope pretty well with a crisis. We’ve had a few now! We made some very big decisions very quickly. We put new plans into place. We made the adjustments. We had the tough conversations without too many problems. We just did what we had to… and coped. We enjoyed the support from others. We were conscious of God’s strength and comfort and we prayed a lot.

But…

Things have changed. The pace has slowed. The crisis has gone and left us with the chronic. It’s become three weekly by three weekly, rather than day by day. Life is now shaped by chemo cycles. One week sick, two weeks better. One week sick, two weeks better. On and on. It’s exhausting and we don’t seem to be achieving much else in life. Sometimes we feel like we’re just drifting with the current or stuck in a rut going nowhere. It’s not so much action that’s needed now, but patience and perseverance and gentleness and self-control. And that seems so much harder. It doesn’t come naturally. We absolutely need the help of God’s Spirit.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.  (Galatians 5:22-23)

In many ways the excitement of the crisis has given way to the mundane of the chronic. The daily grind is hard work. Perhaps, even more challenging than the mountain climb. In the crisis I think to pray. In the chronic I’m more tempted to forget. Gratitude easily gets replaced with grumbling. Matters of eternity give way to matters of trivia. Urgency steps aside for complacency. I can forget to number my days and begin again to take for granted my months or even years. Oh, how slow to learn I can be!

I think it’s harder for others also. Initially, people were making every effort to visit, bending over backwards to offer support… as we tend to do in a crisis. But as time goes on it’s harder to sustain the effort. Life fills up, another crisis gets in the way, we have our own lives to look after. We forget to drop in, make the call, check up on each other, see if there is anything we can do.

To be honest, it can be rather lonely having a chronic illness. You feel just as sick and powerless and needy, but you’re pretty much left to manage on your own. There’ve been times when I’ve felt disappointed in people. Why haven’t they called? It wouldn’t be too hard to drop in. It’d be awesome if they’d just ask Fiona if there’s anything they could do to help. I long to hear what’s going on in people’s lives. I’m interested in knowing about work or family or the latest sporting achievement. I’d love to have people offer to come and pray with me, or read the Bible and talk about stuff. Hey, I’d even be up for a regular game of real Scrabble! Even a quick phone call just to say they’re thinking of me!

I shouldn’t whinge. Fiona tells me I shouldn’t write posts when I’m feeling revolting from chemo and she’s probably right! I have so much to be thankful for and I keep being overwhelmed by how many people tell me they’re praying for me. But, I’m trying to be honest and I’m learning lots about myself as well. As I reflect on many years of pastoral ministry, I don’t think I had begun to appreciate what it was like for some people struggling with chronic issues. People with physical or mental disabilities, people with CFS unable to get out of bed for much of the day, women with debilitating pregnancies, people without transport or living in nursing homes. I had so many opportunities to be an encouragement to others that I simply overlooked. As a pastor, I was always up for putting on my superman cape and dealing with a crisis… but the chronic was often forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind perhaps.

Jesus is the Pastor Supremo. He came to overcome our alienation from God, which is the biggest crisis we will ever face. He did so at enormous personal cost, sacrificing his life on the cross to bring us reconciliation. But we also see Jesus caring for those with chronic disabilities, people who are outcasts and isolated from others. He was willing to hang with lepers, prostitutes, tax cheats, and those despised by the religious leaders of his day. Jesus had a pastoral heart that didn’t overlook the needy and he called those who follow him to have the same attitude.

12 Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13 But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”  (Luke14:12-14)

Here’s a thought. Next time you think of putting on a BBQ, think about people you know who might rarely get invited out. Are there lonely people at work or church who’d love an invitation? Perhaps, there’s someone who’s not well and you can make a special effort to include them. Maybe even offer to take the BBQ to their place if that’d make it easier!

On another occasion Jesus told a parable to describe those who belong to him and those who don’t. They’re challenging words.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’  (Matthew 25:34-40)

The mention of brothers and sisters shows that Jesus especially has in mind the way Christians are called to treat each other. If we’re part of the same family, then we’re called to love our siblings. There’s a lesson here for those of us in churches to care for one another in our times of need. It should never be out of sight out of mind. But, I wouldn’t be too quick to say this stops with how Christians should treat each other. We’re called to do good to all, as we have opportunity. Do you know someone needing a place to stay? Is there neighbour down the street who never gets visitors? Is there someone at work going through a difficult divorce? Is there old friend with CFS who’s been doing it tough for so long that they’re embarrassed to even mention it? Do you know a single mum who never gets any time to herself? Would a friend appreciate you doing some shopping, spending time in the garden, running a few errands, taking the kids for a while? Is there someone you should get onto right away, just to check they’re doing okay?

How can you make a difference?

Consider it pure joy

Sickness, loneliness, trouble at work, struggles in marriage, financial pressure, wayward children, car accidents, overlooked for promotion, slandered, mocked, imprisoned, persecuted. Who wants a piece of that… any of it? And yet James writes in the Bible:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds…  (James 1:2)

What was he thinking?! And he doesn’t simply say, look on the bright side, cheer up, things will get better. He says to consider it pure joy (or all joy) whenever you face trials. And he doesn’t restrict the range of trials. I take it this covers pretty much the full spectrum of nasty things that could happen to you. How do you adopt such a view of life? And is this any different to the power of positive thinking?

Perhaps we need to consider the meaning of joy. The temptation is to equate joy with happiness or a bubbly personality or a permanent smile. But joy runs deeper than an emotional response. It has to do with contentment and trust and confidence. In James’ words he calls us to a thinking response more than an emotional response. He’s not telling us how to feel about the trials we’re experiencing, he’s telling us how to think about our circumstances, to consider it pure joy when we face various trials. But why?

…because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  (James 1:3)

The experience of facing trials puts our faith to the test. It shows up what’s real and not real. Theoretical faith is no faith at all. Genuine faith is shown by it’s action, it’s fruit, the changes it produces. And the real test is perseverance, keeping on when things are tough, and finishing the race.

Sadly, I know a number of people who have claimed to have faith in God, who’ve claimed to be Christian, who have said most of the right things… but when pain and difficulties and trials have come along their faith has proved wanting. Perhaps they were presented with a false picture of God – one where he’d remove anything undesirable – and it didn’t stand up to their experience. Maybe they hadn’t really come to the point of trusting God at all. When life is good, when we’re healthy, wealthy and happy, it’s easy to think we’re in control and not bother trusting in God.

Trials of various kinds give us the opportunity to live out our faith, to demonstrate a faith that works. I would never have planned it this way, but my experiences with cancer over the past year have given me many reasons to examine my faith and look again to God. Will I trust God with what I do not like? Can I be contented and joyful in the midst of painful chemotherapy? Can I count it as pure joy to have an ‘incurable’ lung cancer? Please note, I’m not saying that the cancer is a good thing. God is sovereign over all, but he teaches me that cancer, disease and death is part of this cursed world that he will ultimately restore. I don’t go looking for trials, but they will come and the question is how I respond when they do.

I’ve had a number of people say to me that they’ve been observing my faith more closely since I’ve got sick. They’ve heard me preach and teach and counsel people over the years, but now they are watching how I respond personally? Is my faith really real? Does it stand up? Will I persevere or turn away? My prayer is that I will persevere as my faith is tested and consider it pure joy when I face these and other trials, because of what God is doing through them.

One of my problems is that I’m so short sighted. All I can see is the immediate trial. Right now, it’s the effects of chemo: the headaches and nausea and rashes and fatigue. Another time it’s the struggle of a difficult relationship, or the criticism of others, or my disappointment in myself. God is calling me to get the bigger picture, to grasp his perspective. James continues…

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  (James 1:4)

The God who reveals himself in the Bible doesn’t promise health and prosperity… in this life. He doesn’t say that he will remove all our suffering and take away all our pain… in this life. But we can be confident that God is at work in all situations. He is growing our faith muscles against the resistance of trials and difficulties. He is strengthening us to persevere through the trials, that we might become mature and complete in him.

Do I always have this perspective? Sadly, no. Sometimes the end is hard to see behind all the hurt and the pain. And at these times God promises to help.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  (James 1:5)

This is a wonderful promise. When we’re blinded to the truth of God at work in our lives, we should ask God for wisdom to see things more clearly, to see things through his eyes. And he promises to give generously. God knows it’s hard, he knows it hurts, he knows we’re weak, and he doesn’t find fault. He gives us the wisdom needed to be able to count it pure joy.

When I was younger I remember singing the song, ‘What a friend we have in Jesus’. It’s a great song, but I think this second verse means more to me now than it did back then…

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

And so I will pray…

Heavenly Father,
Please give me the wisdom to see things your way.
Please help me to look beyond my current circumstances,
to be reminded that you are working within me,
to strengthen my faith,
to enable me to persevere,
and grow into maturity.
I ask that you will help me consider it pure joy as I face my trials.
Amen

Remember the things that matter when hope is hard to find

RememberGood friends of ours sent us this book in the mail. I know they’re good friends because they sent such a good book! It truly is a gem. This is a book to read slowly. I didn’t – but I will! Take it a chapter at a time. Maybe read it more than once. Pause, reflect, write notes, meditate and pray.

Rhonda Watson has motor neurone disease (MND) and has lost her ability to speak, along with other physical functions. In the midst of her loss and grief she turns her heart to the Word of God. Not in any superficial or trite sense, but grappling with the ambiguities and complexities of life. Like so many of the Psalms, she cries out at the pain, she fights to maintain her trust in God, and she finds consolation in the character and promises of God. I found that I could identify with many of the author’s feelings and experiences, and I was encouraged by her honesty as she struggled to find answers and hope in God. My heart was warmed as I read Remember and these words from the foreword ring true:

Rhonda Watson writes with the sensitivity of a tender heart, tested in the furnace of trial, and the wisdom of someone who has learned to depend utterly on God for her daily portion of strength. I greatly appreciate the combination of the subjective – her own feelings and experience – and the objective truths of the Scriptures.  (p7)

The author follows the advice of Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones in his book Spiritual Depression where he stresses the importance of talking to ourselves, instead of simply allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us. There are so many voices telling us what to think and feel and do, and sometimes the worst one to listen to is our own! It’s so much more helpful to listen to God’s voice and allow him to speak into our lives. God offers us true perspective and we do well to remind ourselves of God, who he is, what he has done, and what he promises to do.

Each chapter of Remember takes us on a journey of hope with the author. She grapples with the issues faced by those who are suffering and she turns our hearts and minds to the wonder and freedom found only in God. This is no simple exercise. It requires honesty, humility, and trust. We’re called to open our Bibles and prayerfully take God at his word. This book helps us through this process and encourages us to make our own responses in each of the following areas.

1. Beauty and ugliness

In a society obsessed with body image, it can be very difficult for those with chronic illness and disability. Instead of being overwhelmed by the ugliness of our situation or measuring ourselves by others, we are encouraged to look to Jesus who reveals the beauty of God. Jesus takes the ugliness of our sin and replaces it with his beautiful righteousness.

2. Silence and speech

Watson had spent her life speaking. She was a teacher, trainer, and educator. She mourns her inability to read books to her grandchildren or enjoy conversation with family and friends. And yet she writes:

I look forward to the day when, with healed tongue, I will sing and praise my Saviour. On that day my silence will be over.  (p37)

3. Fear and trust

Fear
Took me by the throat today
Shook me till
My bones rattled

Chased me
Relentless and cold
Insidious, mocking
Chased me all day

I could have stood my ground
But I ran
So fear
Grew stronger

I was captured
In the end
Quaking and fallen
Curled on the ground in shame

(Rhonda Watson, 2009. p63-64)

We’re encouraged to overcome our fears by turning to God who can be trusted. God is our mighty, sovereign, and loving Saviour. He calls us, as his beloved children, to trust him.

4. Thankfulness and bitterness

I found this chapter full of challenges. It’s so easy to feel that this world owes us something and to grow bitter at lost opportunities or unrealised potential through a disabling disease. Drawing on Oswald Chambers, Watson writes of the challenge to live an ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. I might think that I should be doing extraordinary things for God, when he simply calls me to do ordinary things in an exceptional way – his way, for his glory, not mine! When I’m reminded of God’s extraordinary grace in Jesus Christ, it moves me toward thankfulness instead of wallowing in bitterness.

5. Joy and grief

Acceptance of grief is part of the journey toward joy.  (p107)

We don’t need to deny or suppress grief in order to experience joy. The Psalms give expression to a range of human emotions. They acknowledge and give voice to our pain, disappointment and grief. They show that it’s okay to cry out to God, to express our doubts, worries and fears. And they shine a light on the path to joy that can only be found in God himself. Joy is not be found in our circumstances, but through trusting our loving Father in Heaven despite our circumstances.

6. Delight and despair

In times of suffering it is so easy to give in to despair, to give up hope. Perhaps, we now view ourselves as unproductive and worthless. Watson speaks of two choices for how we think and act…

Choice 1: I am worthless, I don’t know why God would inflict this useless suffering on me, I give up, I will turn my face to the wall and surrender to these feelings of despair.
Choice 2: This is tough going, it’s hard to hold on to a sense of worth, but nevertheless I will commit my way to God, I will attune my desires to his ways, I will trust him, and I will seek to delight him.  (p132-133)

7. Awake or asleep?

Chronic illness can lead to sleepiness. Not simply staying in bed, but drifting aimlessly and passing the time with mindless distractions. Some of this is necessary, but failure to navigate can lead to shipwreck. We can slide into self-pity and resentment or drift into despair. We need awakening to how God sees us, our circumstances and this world we live in. Watson offers this prayer:

Our Heavenly Father,
Help us to stay awake.
We grow drowsy and distracted as we wait for you,
At times our hearts are loaded down with sadness and struggle.
By your Spirit, strengthen us,
By your Word, nourish us,
Keep us longing for our true home,
Forever with you.  (p160)

8. Life and death

Everyone one of us is going to die. This is our lot, but that doesn’t make it okay. Death wasn’t part of the good world that God created and it’s right to rage against it. It’s not a natural part of life and shouldn’t be viewed as such. Death sucks!

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?  (Romans 8:22-24)

Many of us go through life ignoring death. Those with chronic and terminal illnesses probably feel it’s presence more acutely. We groan along with the creation at the pain it causes. And we groan not in despair, but with hope and longing. Jesus in his death and resurrection has conquered death’s power over us. God has promised that he will abolish death and restore the creation, and we long for that day. We are meant for life, not death. Watson writes:

…there are two ways of looking at this day. Either I am dying of MND, or I am living with MND. There is a simple but profound difference between these two perspectives. One is death, one is life. The choice is: Which perspective will I accept for myself today?  (p166).

And so I will pray:

Please God, help me to choose life.

I thank God that he has used Rhonda Watson to write this honest and inspirational book. My only regret is that the cover has a feminine look about it! This is for blokes just as much as women. It’s a gutsy message. Remember is a book for all people, not simply those with illness of some form or other. We will all experience the struggles of faith in the face of suffering and temptations. This book calls us to remember the things that matter when hope is hard to find.

You owe me dinner

My wife told me to read this book. She said, “Read this and stop feeling sorry for yourself.” I must admit, I was a bit indignant at first. After all, I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself. And if I did choose to feel sorry for myself, then I obviously had every right to! I saw the cover of the book and quietly thought, “I’m sure having terminal cancer is a lot worse than being stuck in a wheelchair.” Well, I’ve now read the book and confess to having been a complete git! This is an emotional and gut-wrenching book that has seriously opened my eyes.

The author, Jim Stallard, thought he understood disabilities. He’d worked as a nurse among people with psychiatric and intellectual disabilities in the years when Australia was just beginning to correct some of it’s institutional abuse. He’d experienced struggles himself, suffering from type 1 diabetes and having gone blind in one eye. But when a freak accident left him a quadriplegic, he began a torturous and terrifying journey with disability that would continue throughout his life. In the midst of this, he has so much to teach us.

I won’t recount the story, other than to say that there’s something coming around every bend and it doesn’t let up! Just when you feel things couldn’t possibly get worse, they do. And they do again, and again, and again. Jim has stared death in the face over and over. We feel his powerlessness, his pain and his fear. We’re inspired by his humour, and we’re also confronted with his faith.

Jim’s wife is a humble champion. His children are inspirational. His carers and friends are genuine servants. The people who surround Jim enrich his life as they are enriched by his. I was encouraged by the commitment to prayer by so many. I was challenged by Jim’s continual trust in God through all that he endures. He his confident that nothing can separate him from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. He refuses to confuse his changing circumstances with God’s unchanging love.

This book has also helped me to appreciate how difficult we can make things for people with disabilities. Our society is changing, more and more facilities are being offered, but it’s attitudes that need to change most. Ignorance is a big problem. Jim has helped me to appreciate how our churches can be just as alienating to those with disabilities. We can so easily send the message that this isn’t a place for you. These words are very confronting:

Every church in Australia makes a statement about people with disabilities, and in one aspect or another it is usually exclusion. If you show me a church with ramps at the door, I see a legal building. If you show me a church with signers for people who are deaf and Braille song sheets, large-printed hand-outs and ramps to the platform, I see a glimpse of heaven. The Kingdom of God is inclusive.

My disability is not to be feared, pitied or overlooked. It is a reality and a challenge for Pam and me every day. I acknowledge that it is sometimes a challenge for able-bodied people to deal with the issue of disability. But my disability is not my biggest problem. My biggest problem arises when able-bodied people only see my disability and not the rest of me.

What is most beneficial to me is not so much a building that meets all the legal requirements, but an attitude that meets all the attributes of Jesus. And whilst Jesus certainly healed people, he didn’t heal everyone. I wasn’t healed, but I still needed all of my faith to help sustain me.  (p96)

My hope is that this book will help me to treat people as people, whatever they look like, whatever their abilities or disabilities. It’s so easy to fear the unknown or unusual, to avoid those who are different from us, and to make assumptions about people without getting to know them. My desire is to become a source of help and hope for people who struggle with disability. This will mean keeping my eyes open and thinking and speaking and doing. It will mean not assuming or neglecting or walking away. Through my cancer, God has given me a personal taste of what disability can mean. Jim’s book has inspired me to change my attitude to others. Jesus has shown me God’s heart for all people, especially those with disabilities.

12 Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13 But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”  (Luke 14:12-14)

Blessed be the name of the Lord?

I think I’m becoming more emotional! I’ve probably shed more tears in the past year than in all the years previous. It doesn’t take much to get me a little choked up and one of the big catalysts is music. At this point I must confess that I’ve become totally addicted to the TV music shows, The Voice and X Factor. Some of the singing has given me goosebumps. Some of the heart-wrenching stories behind the musos have brought tears to my eyes. Let me say, I think it’s good for me. Crying is a helpful pressure release valve, and I find that music sometimes flicks the switch.

Those of you who know me via church, will recognise that I’m not much of a musician. Sometimes I drift off during the singing. Other times I find myself kind of lip-syncing. Very occasionally, I get into a song and belt it out with gusto. Sometimes I find myself stopping to think, what exactly are we singing?

One song that has become something of an anthem in the Christian circles I mix in is Matt Redman’s Blessed be the name of the Lord. With a great band and lots of people singing, it can really get you going. I’ve sung it many times, I enjoy it, and at times I’ve been swept along by it. But until very recently I haven’t stopped to think about what we’re actually singing. I could be wrong, but I suspect that few others have either. This is a shortened version of how it goes:

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s ‘all as it should be’
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

It’s a song for all seasons. It’s a message of contrasts and extremes. We sing of plenty and abundance, the sun shining and the world being as it should be. But we also sing of the desert and the wilderness, suffering and pain. The refrain says that it doesn’t matter what comes our way, we will bless God’s glorious name. These are bold promises we are singing and I wonder if we sing them with integrity. When everything is cruising along nicely, how often do we stop to thank God for his goodness to us? When our world seems to be falling apart, how easily do we offer praises to God?

A few weeks back I was singing this song with a crowd of others and I found the tears flowing in the final chorus:

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

We kept singing over and over You give and take away. I felt like I’d been pierced through the heart. God had given and he had taken away… from me! He’d given me my health and and now it was gone. He’d given us the plan of heading to Darwin and brought us right back to Canberra. He’d given me dreams for the future and he’d cut them short. He’d given me life and he’d take it back again. Suddenly, this song hurt. It asked questions, real questions, of me: Will my heart choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name? How will my faith stand up to the challenges of circumstances? Am I a fair-weather believer? Do I simply turn to God because he protects me and shields me? Will I trust him and honour him in my darkest hours?

As I sang these words and contemplated these thoughts I remembered that I’d heard the words and the context before somewhere. They’re taken from the introduction to the Book of Job in the Bible. Job is a bloke who’s experiencing extreme suffering. His livelihood has been completely taken from him and his family have been killed in a catastrophic disaster. This is suffering and pain at the top end of the richter scale. It’s far more than I’ve endured, or ever want to. This isn’t passing and failing tests at school. It’s not struggling with diets or disappointments. It is life and death. It’s God giving and taking away. We may know people who’ve faced such tragedy, but it doesn’t happen often at this level. How will Job respond? Of what value is his faith? Will he acknowledge and turn to God?

This is how he responds after hearing the disastrous news:

20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”

I think Matt Redman’s song is worth singing. But I also reckon we should pause and consider if we can sing it in all honesty. It’s ridiculous to mouth the words as though they’re the latest Christian pop song. They cut to the heart. They lay bare our soul. They point us to the Lord who leads and guides us through the light and the darkness. I pray that God will enable me to honour his name, whatever he gives and whatever he takes away.

And I think I’ve got it easier than Job in another way. Job didn’t know about all that God had planned to give in the future. A future that has now happened. He didn’t understand that God would give his only son, Jesus, so that all who put their trust in him would not perish, but live forever. Once we grasp this, we can know for sure that God gives far far more than he will ever take. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Pendulum swings

DJP_2179The pendulum swings continue. A week ago I was enjoying life with my wife, riding a ferry on Sydney Harbour. Today I climbed out of bed for the first time in five days since having chemotherapy. Chemo messes with my body big time. But it also messes with my mind. When I’m relatively chemo-free, I start to feel ‘normal’, like I can make plans and take on the world.  Then comes the poison again, and the world seems to collapse around me. I worry that I won’t get better and that I won’t be able to do anything much at all.

Perhaps, I need to adopt a mathematical approach to working out how I’m going and how much I can do…

(G + B) ÷ 2 = R

G is the good times
B is the bad times
R is a realistic assessment of where I’m at and what I can do!

In other words, when I feel really good, I need to realise that this is the top of the pendulum swing and it won’t be this good for long. And when I feel bad, I need to remember that things will get better and it’s just for a time. Split the difference and I will have a more realistic picture of things!

More importantly, I don’t want to be controlled by the pendulum, whether it’s mood swings or health swings or any other kind of swing. I have the capacity and the responsibility to choose how I will respond to my circumstances. Victor Frankl, who spend time as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps, highlighted this fact in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. He wrote:

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”

Frankl was a brilliant and exceptional man. In the face of extreme suffering, he shaped a philosophy of life and an approach to therapy that has had massive influence. I enjoy reading his works, and find it helpful to be reminded that I can choose how I’ll respond to what happens to me. I’m not simply a victim (or otherwise) or my personal circumstances.

But I’m also a little wary of Frankl’s positivism. Yes, it’s up to me to choose, but what if I can’t? I might want to take control of my thoughts and feelings, but struggle to do so. What if I’m overwhelmed by my bad experiences or seduced by the good ones? What if I’m simply too weak to think clearly and rationally? What if the treatment impacts my mood so greatly that I don’t know what I’m feeling?

I take comfort in the knowledge that God knows what I’m thinking and what I’m feeling. He understands the full impact of my circumstances upon me. He’s aware of my tendency to swing with the pendulum. He’s seen me get cocky when things are going well and he’s seen me depressed when things seem too hard. And he cares for me in all these situations.

I’m comforted by the fact that even if I despair and struggle to pray, God will help me in my weakness.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.  (Romans 8:26-27)

I’m encouraged by the promise that whatever circumstances may threaten to overpower me, nothing can separate me from the love of God in Jesus Christ.

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  (Romans 8:38-39)

The pendulum will continue to swing. Life will have its ups and its downs. I will get tossed around more than I would like. But I thank God for his strength and grace to see me through.

The insecurity of my introspection

When I was in my late teens I seem to remember spending a lot of time praying. There were two main reasons for this. The first was that I rode motorcycles and I didn’t want to become a ‘temporary Australian’. As I look back, I’m sure there was something inconsistent about breaking the speed limit and asking God to keep me safe at the same time! The second reason I prayed a lot is that I kept getting myself into trouble. I’d do things I knew I shouldn’t do, and that I didn’t want to do, and I’d just keep on doing them. Many a night I’d be praying through this long list of things I’d done wrong, just in case I died that night and God still held them against me.

I didn’t realise it at the time, but my problem was that I thought it was up to me to make myself a Christian and to keep myself a Christian. If only I could be good enough for God. I’d try and turn over a new leaf each time I failed – which was pretty often, daily even. Surely, if I confessed the things I’d done to God, and didn’t miss any, then he couldn’t really blame me. To be honest, I now recognise that I was living in fear and insecurity. I was anxious about dying, and deep down I knew I wasn’t at peace with God. Having grown up in a Christian family, always going to church, and having called myself a ‘Christian’, this was a pretty strange place to be.

My problems intensified when I moved away from home. In many ways I longed to escape my past, start afresh, and do everything right from now on. And people wouldn’t label me as a hypocrite because they couldn’t judge me by my past failures. Somehow, I thought a change of environment would make it easier to satisfy God too. The problem was that the environment changed but I didn’t! I failed almost immediately and my new circumstances just provided me new opportunities to stuff up. And so I started to doubt the whole Christian thing. Perhaps, there was no God. Or if there was, then I needed to admit that I didn’t really belong to him. I was a disappointment to myself, to others and to God.

Something happened to change all this. Someone helped me to grasp the difference that Jesus makes. I’d heard the language – Jesus died to save you from your sins – but I hadn’t understood what this meant. It was reading these verses from the Bible that turned my whole life inside out:

8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!  (Romans 5:9-11)

The idea of being justified comes from the world of legal transactions. It means to be declared in good standing – with God in this case. The reason for the good standing is that the penalty has been payed and the debt fully cancelled. And the payment here is nothing less than the death of Jesus Christ. In short, God no longer holds anything against me because Jesus has fully paid the price for all my failures by dying upon the cross. Jesus takes the judgment I deserve. It’s like he swaps places with me and is executed in my place. The implication of this, or the how much more argument, is that because the price is fully paid then I can be fully confident of being in good standing with God – now and on the day when everyone is called to give account. Wow!

This was revolutionary for me. This meant that because Jesus had died for me, then my past failures, my present failures, my forgotten failures, my future failures – they are all paid for in full. No judgment to come. Nothing to fear. It’s not about my performance or my penance or remembering my every shortcoming. It’s all about Jesus and what he’s done to guarantee me a relationship with God. There’s no pride in this either, for it’s all God’s work. Once I’d grasped this, I can honestly say that everything changed. It’s not that I became perfect – far from it – it’s that I knew I could rest my confidence in God.

That was many many years ago and a lot’s happened since then – especially this past year. Recent months have presented quite a few challenges to my beliefs and my confidence in God. Being faced with my own mortality has taken things to a whole new level. It hasn’t always been plane sailing. In fact, there’ve been a few times when I’ve slipped back into the errors of my teenage years. What if I stop believing in God? What if doubt gets the better of me? What if I’ve made all this up? What if I’m really hollow, living a facade, and there is no substance to my faith? These sorts of struggles have bothered me in the dark times, but I know that the answer remains the same. It’s not up to me. It’s not my performance. It’s not my good life or the strength of my faith or the sincerity of my confessions that secure my relationship to God. It is entirely God’s gift through the substitutionary death of his Son, Jesus Christ. As I was reading through 2 Corinthians earlier today, I was encouraged also by these words:

20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.  (2 Corinthians 1:20-22)

This is my prayer:

Thank you God that you offer failures like me a relationship with you. Thank you Jesus for dying in my place and paying the full cost for all my failings. Thank you God for taking hold of me, keeping me in your care, and giving me your Spirit as a guarantee of life with you forever.

What comfort?

I didn’t make it to church this morning. The toxic effects of chemo were still knocking me around and I didn’t feel up to leaving the house. I’d been bed-ridden most of the past few days and was feeling rather miserable, so I thought I’d stay at home and read a bit of the Bible. I’m glad I did because it helped me get my eyes off my misery and onto the source of comfort and compassion. These verses stuck out for me…

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.
(2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

Sometimes God can seem so remote, disinterested, uncaring, even cruel. Suffering, injustice, oppression, sickness, pain, disaster, corruption – they all seem to testify against God. But the trouble is we’re only looking at part of the evidence. If we look closer we’ll see that God cares deeply about all this misery and he promises to support us in our suffering. This doesn’t mean he’ll take the pain away or remove the suffering, but he promises to comfort us in our struggles.

Last week we listened to a friend explaining the message of Psalm 23. We were reminded that while these words are often read at funerals, they have great comfort and significance for the living. Verse 4 speaks of God being with us in the darkest times…

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

Notice that it doesn’t promise that we’ll avoid walking through very difficult places. Nor does it say that God will come in a helicopter and lift us above the dark valley. This is not a promise that suffering will be taken away, but that God will be with us every step of the way. He’ll be our guide and protector. He offers us comfort even in our darkest hour.

But in what sense is God the Father of compassion or the God of all comfort? Is it just rhetoric? Is this just religious pep talk to help us cope with our misery? Is it no better than a cliché in the centre of a sympathy card? Friends, I’m confident that there’s substance behind these words that means they’re powerful and true. The Apostle Paul bases his convictions about God on the evidence that Jesus died for our sins and that God has raised Jesus from the dead. God’s promise is to do the same for all who call on him. A few verses later in 2 Corinthians he writes…

9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
(2 Corinthians 1:9)

The resurrection of Jesus gives grounds for relying on God. If God has done this for Jesus, then we can trust him to do the same for us. And it’s not just pie in the sky when you die. The promise is that God will comfort us in our troubles now. He’s with us when we’re sick. He understands when we’re conflicted and confused. He cares when we fearful. He will not leave our side even when we’re dying. And the comfort he brings is that he’s fully guaranteed our future in Jesus Christ.

The challenge to me in these verses is to pass on the comfort that I’ve received from God. This comfort isn’t for my sake alone – it’s for all who groan and struggle and grieve. It’s for all who’s souls are restless and troubled. I don’t need to despair. I have no reason to spiral in self-pity. No, God has comforted me that I might bring his comfort to others. He calls me to be a blessing to those around me, by pointing people to the compassion and comfort that comes from him alone.

A strange urge

I’ve developed a strange urge this year. It hits me every time I see someone smoking. I feel like going over to them and asking them to give up – to quit. I’m seriously tempted to take off my shirt, show them the scars on my side, and let them know that lung cancer is no fun at all (even though mine isn’t from smoking). But you know what? I don’t! I just turn away and keep on going. The problem is I’m gutless!

I have another urge, a deeper urge. Every time one of my friends shows a disinterest in God or dismisses Christianity, I feel like pleading with them check it out – to reconsider. I want to point to the scars on Jesus’ hands, the wounds in his side, and let them know that God offers each of us a fresh start because of Jesus’ crucifixion. The consequences of rejecting God are serious, but I want to speak of the love of God, his offer of forgiveness, and his promise of life beyond death. But you guessed it! Too often I say nothing at all. I just ignore the issue and continue as though it doesn’t really matter. Let me apologise for being gutless! Seriously, let’s talk.

Waking up with a Harley

This morning I woke up with a Harley! To be specific, it was a 2012 Harley Davidson Road Glide Custom. It was my birthday present from Fiona – what a woman! Let me say this is an awesome machine. It’s got serious grunt with it’s V-twin 1690cc engine. It’s built for touring and has twin headlights, a fairing, saddle bags, glove boxes, cruise control, ABS brakes, radio, CD player, GPS, intercom, and even a cigarette lighter!

Fiona planned to hire me a Harley for my birthday but couldn’t find anywhere in Canberra that would do that. Not a problem though, because she discovered the Wake up with a Harley program. The local dealer would loan us a cruiser for 24 hours at no cost, unlimited mileage, no insurance premiums, and no excess! Thank you God!

I must admit I was pretty anxious before I picked up the bike. I hadn’t ridden since I don’t know when. The bike, weighing 370kg, was bigger than I’d ever ridden. And I’m not exactly in peak fitness. In fact I had a restless night, prior to picking it up, that reminded me of the night before I hired my first tinnie on the crocodile infested Mary River!

Yesterday I spent time getting the hang of it myself, before taking Fiona and the kids on various trips up and down Black Mountain, Mount Ainslie and around Lake Burley Griffin. My youngest paid me a compliment when we’d finished a loop, saying “Dad, you’re gun!” Not sure what that means, but it sounded good!

Today, after delivering the kids to school on the bike, Fiona and I went for a cruise together. Out to Bungendore for a coffee, across to Gundaroo, around past Murrumbateman, back to Canberra. You take in so much more on a motorbike than sitting behind the windscreen of a car. The wind, the bends, the scenery, the vibrations. It was exhilerating! Just me, the Harley, and my girlfriend hanging on behind! I felt very alive and I thanked God so much for this awesome opportunity. What a privilege to be alive and I’m so thankful to be well enough to enjoy such a treat. Who’d ever have thought I’d be cruising around on a massive motorcycle in August this year?!

The sad part was taking it back. But as they say, all good things… Would I get one? Probably not one of these cruisers. I felt a bit like one of those old blokes from the Ulysses Club. The one who’s motto is grow old disgracefully! But don’t you have to be 50 to join that club? Oops, I am!